The Cost of Ignoring Bullying: From Playground Bullies to Trump’s Divisive Leadership
Self Development # 4
The Cost of Ignoring Bullying: From Playground Bullies to Trump’s Divisive Leadership
I am beginning to love Substack.
It provides an excellent forum to compose and share one’s thoughts.
Today’s topic - Why integrity, values, and leadership matter - whether you’re a 12 yr old or a global leader.
A few days ago, I had a conversation with the 12-year-old son of a friend. He’s at a new school and, as it turns out, he’s being bullied. He detailed the situation and I asked some clarifying questions to help him look at his own choices. However, it quickly became clear that the issue stemmed from his ginger hair; or more specifically, because he looked different.
When he asked me what he should do, I advised him to stand up to the bully - to look him in the eye and, if necessary, plant his foot firmly in the bully's unmentionables (that’s 🥜 to you and me!)
His mother overheard and, with a disturbingly loud intake of breath, exclaimed “NO!”
She worried that this advice might get him expelled.
I agreed - it might; however, I guaranteed it would stop the bullying in its tracks.
I explained to both of them that while violence should always be the absolute last resort, there are times when standing up is the only way to deal with the issue.
Bullies are cowards at heart - and cowards only start fights they think they will win.
This encounter got me thinking about the broader implications of bullying and the dangerous allure of remaining neutral, or keeping our heads down.
Whether it’s in the schoolyard, the workplace, or on the global stage, looking the other way in the face of wrongdoing has some pretty serious consequences.
The Impact of Bullying: Lessons from the Playground
In the playground, we teach our children to be kind, to turn the other cheek, but we also know that ignoring a bully rarely works. Bullies thrive on the silence and inaction of their victims and bystanders.
Every time we choose to look the other way, we enable the bully to continue their behaviour, to escalate, and to spread their influence.
The cost isn’t just borne by the victim; it affects the entire environment, breeding fear and uncertainty.
So, what does this have to do with Trump?
Trump's Tactics: Name-Calling and Division as Leadership Failures
Now, let’s take a step back and look at the adult world—specifically, at someone like Donald Trump.
Whether you agree with the politics of the Democrats or not, even a child can see that Trump’s values and behaviour are deeply flawed.
His name-calling, deliberate mispronunciations, dishonesty, and relentless stoking of fears are not the hallmarks of a strong leader—they are, precisely, the tactics of a bully.
Trump has made a career out of demonising individuals and groups, from mocking disabled reporters to spreading lies about immigrants and people of colour.
He fuels division and fear, pitting people against one another, all while presenting himself as the strongman who alone can fix everything.
But this isn’t strength; it’s cowardice dressed up as bravado.
Just like the playground bully, Trump relies on the silence of bystanders and the complicity of those who would rather look the other way than confront the ugliness head-on.
The Global Implications: Ukraine, Russia, and the Danger of Neutrality
The same principles that apply in the playground apply here. Looking the other way, pretending that his behaviour is just 'Trump being Trump,' or ‘Putin being Putin,’ or dismissing it as unimportant, is dangerous.
It normalises behaviour that should never be normalised.
It emboldens others who would use similar tactics to gain power. And it erodes the very fabric of our society, making it harder to stand up for what’s right.
On a larger scale, this dynamic plays out in global politics. The war in Ukraine is a stark reminder of what happens when we fail to stand up to aggression. Some might argue that it’s not our fight, that we should stay out of it, but history teaches us otherwise.
Neutrality in the face of clear wrongdoing only emboldens the aggressor.
Russia’s actions in Ukraine are not just a regional issue; they are a challenge to the principles of sovereignty and human rights that underpin global stability.
Why We Must Stand Up: The Cost of Inaction
Looking the other way might seem like the safer, easier option, but it’s a choice that comes with significant risks.
Whether we’re talking about a bully in the playground, a toxic colleague, or a rogue nation, the consequences of inaction are far-reaching. We may avoid immediate conflict, but in the long run, we pay a higher price in terms of lost integrity, damaged relationships, and weakened communities.
So, what can any of us do?
It starts with recognising that our actions - or lack thereof - matter. We must be willing to stand up for what’s right, even when it’s uncomfortable or risky. This doesn’t always mean confrontation; sometimes it’s about offering support to those who are targeted, speaking out when we see something wrong, or simply refusing to be complicit in harmful behaviour.
In the end, the cost of looking the other way is too high. We owe it to ourselves and to each other to be brave, to stand up, and to take action when it’s needed. Because if we don’t, who will?
If you’ve ever faced a bully or witnessed someone else being mistreated, you know the importance of standing up.
What would your advice have been to that 12 yr old?
Would it be the advice you would give your younger self?
Follow me on LinkedIn, Mark Smallwood for more insights on resilience, leadership, and how we can all make a difference.
Subscribe to my Substack for deeper discussions on these critical issues and more.
As ever, a ❤️ or a comment goes a long way - as does a restack 😎
#Bullying #Leadership #Trump #StandUp #SpeakOut #GlobalStability #IntegrityMatters #CharacterCounts #NoToBullies #PoliticalDivision #UkraineWar #StopRussia #NameCalling #HonestyInPolitics
Being of 'mixed' background I was the subject of some physical bullying, predominantly it was verbal. This included, incredibly, being racially mocked by a teacher at secondary school! Agree with you Mark, bullies are cowards, often form 'friendships' based on fear and are insecure individuals. My own response was initially to try and ignore it, to my detriment. It impacted me so much that I became pretty insular and flunked some important exams. I was lucky, I was resilient and smart, using my academic ability to ultimately escape these morons. Others may not have such coping mechanisms and yep, I advocate standing ones ground, seeking support and outing those who belong in a dark, stimulus -free cave.
I wish the American media would face the obvious bully in Trump as you described so well, and the consequences.