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Gail's avatar

This article struck a deep chord with me and there is comfort in knowing that others share this same ache in this 'season of stillness.' Thank you

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Mark V Smallwood's avatar

Thank you, Gail. There’s something deeply human about finding connection, even in our moments of suffering.

Knowing we’re not alone - even in the harder feelings - can bring a kind of quiet comfort, can’t it? I’m so glad this resonated with you x.

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Francis F's avatar

It’s a tricky one isn’t it? For me it’s a constant reminder that families and loved ones are together and even though I do have that , and 10 of us spent Christmas Day and Boxing Day together and it was so much fun as usual in my family, it’s a reminder that I’m the only one without a partner ! So when everyone goes home and my kids go to their fathers , it’s just me! Now you may think great enjoy the peace , and rest and relax , which I do ! But there is only so much of that you can do! I get restless and want to make the most of my freedom , drinking, eating , meet mates in the pub , overindulge 🫣 but I am grateful really as I know many people are alone and have no one. But I really enjoy the break from work but then suffer anxiety when I return to work !!

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Mark V Smallwood's avatar

I completely get what you’re saying Francis.

The holiday season has a way of amplifying that “empty feeling,” especially when the house quietens down, or the kids are with their other parent. But I genuinely believe it’s better to spend time alone than with the wrong person.

That said, it doesn’t make the quiet any easier, does it?

When you’ve been such a present parent, or your kids are grown, those moments of stillness can feel especially heavy. It’s like you’re left trying to figure out what to do with yourself - resting, meeting friends, or indulging can only fill so much of that space.

You’re so right to hold onto that gratitude for the people and connections you do have, but it’s also okay to sit with the restlessness and acknowledge it for what it is.

I don’t feel it diminishes your gratitude; it just makes you human.

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Francis F's avatar

Very true 😊

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Francis F's avatar

That is terrible being in detention on Sundays ! What kind of school was that !!! ? And what does detention teach you ? Nothing !

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Mark V Smallwood's avatar

It was a British public school - before the rebranding to ‘independent’. We had lessons 6 days a week, with church parade each day before they began.

There was a much longer service “matins” on a Sunday morning so, our only free time was on a Sunday afternoon.

If you had broken the rules (and I did that frequently) detention was the reward. 🙈🚨🙈🤦🏻‍♂️😂

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Francis F's avatar

Thank you 🤩

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Francis F's avatar

My goodness ! Sounds like hell 😳

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Mark V Smallwood's avatar

I’ll share the next three chapters of my ‘Journey to Resilience’ book Francis - you’ve seen the introduction in the post (link below): https://open.substack.com/pub/msmallwood/p/journey-to-resilience-book

I’ll pop them over via email tomorrow 😎👍🏻

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Wendy Martin's avatar

Really hits home. I recommend Jelly Roll’s song 🎶 “It’s all going to be okay “

Seeing family is great but holding up my mask for the entire season is a heavy burden. Meditation, a cup a tea and a cookie, Netflix and hopefully sleep.

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Mark V Smallwood's avatar

Love it Wendy - socialising in small, bite size chunks works well - the expectations of the holiday season makes that much harder!

Putting the kettle on and drawing a 🛁 🥳🤣😎😘

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Unni Turrettini's avatar

Great post, I think we're many feeling the same way but don't talk about it.

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Mark V Smallwood's avatar

The ghosts of Christmas past, Unni! I think so many of us carry them! I’ve finally reached a stage in life where speaking up feels far more important than pretending everything’s fine. It’s freeing, isn’t it?

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Maggie Jon's avatar

Yep, I wrote a note about this exact same thing. Holidays are Hard (extra capitalized H). Sending you a hug 🫂

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Mark V Smallwood's avatar

Many thanks Maggie x

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